


i'm scared i'll call someone your name

by joonluvs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boo Seungkwan is a Good Friend, Fluff, Hurt Lee Chan | Dino, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi is Whipped, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Miscommunication, Slow Dancing, normalize calling chan a good boy every five seconds, soonchan are dancers!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29769918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joonluvs/pseuds/joonluvs
Summary: Chan and Soonyoung connect through dancing together.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Chan | Dino
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	i'm scared i'll call someone your name

**Author's Note:**

> hello! ^^ I know it's been a pretty hard week for carats, hopefully, this fic will take our mind off a few things! essentially, writing always makes my stress go away, so I hope this helps you too! hope you enjoy reading :]
> 
> also; the pov starts with Chan, but then slowly develops into Soonyoung's pov then back to Chan. I didn't even realize while writing, but I'm sorry if that bothers you :(

The first thing Chan hears when he turns the music on in his studio is a loud bang. He jumps, and turns the music off quickly, scared that this was it—he was going to get kidnapped. He hasn't even experienced that much in life, he hasn't told Seungkwan or Hansol how much he loved them, and his parents... well he doesn't really care that much about them. When he turns, he expects a tall man standing there in all black, a mask covering his face while he holds a bat or some sort of weapon. But all he sees is Soonyoung. 

Chan frowns. He doesn't know if he should be relieved that there wasn't a potential murder, or be disappointed that its _Soonyoung._

"What do you want?" Chan asks, doesn't care that his tone was harsh. 

"I—uh, need to talk to you," Soonyoung says and Chan almost laughs. _Almost._ "Before you say anything, I know... I've been an asshole these past months and I'm really—"

"If you fucking apologize to me I'm kicking you out of this studio. I don't need your goddamn pity," Chan snaps and Soonyoung breathes out through his nose. Chan doesn't care if he's frustrated, he has all the validity to be furious with Soonyoung. 

"Okay, okay," Soonyoung says and then he just stands there, awkwardly, as if he was thinking about what he had to say but carefully. 

"If all you're going to do is just stand there like an idiot, then just leave," Chan sighs, crossing his arms across his chest. He really doesn't have the time for this, when he could be getting dancing right now. 

Soonyoung huffs, "Chan can you just let me _fucking talk?"_

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Just pretend like you didn't go out with me for _two years_ and then I caught you getting head from another boy. You didn't even say anything, for _fucks_ sake! Just left my life like that," Chan was already standing in front of Soonyoung, angry and upset. He was seeing red. _How can Soonyoung be annoyed when he did all this to Chan?_

Soonyoung tries to reach his hand out, but Chan just slaps it away, too hurt for any contact. "Chan, please, listen to me. I really needed to talk to you, and I— I just ran here, okay? I wasn't thinking when I came here, I didn't know what I wanted or what I was supposed to say, especially now. Please, can we just talk?"

Chan felt his eyes burn with tears. Soonyoung looked sincere, but there was this part of Chan telling him to not listen because he doesn't want to get hurt again. So much had happened when Soonyoung broke his heart like that, he stopped talking to his friends, stopped paying attention to his studies, distanced himself from his family and worst of all, he lost passion for dancing, which was the only thing that helped Chan out of everything. It was all Soonyoung's fault. 

"I really don't want you here, Hyung. Please, can you just leave?" Chan says, and it was so quiet, Soonyoung barely heard the faint whisper of his voice. The younger boy looks away, his heartbeat racing faster than usual. _" Please. "_

Soonyoung was hurt. But he knew he hurt Chan even more. So he gives him one last look, blinking away his tears, he pushes the glass door open and exits from the studio. 

Chan thinks this might be the last time he'll ever see him again. 

* * *

He was wrong. 

Technically, it wasn't Chan's fault. He made it clear to himself that he didn't want to see Soonyoung again, he also made it clear for his friends too. But Hansol and Seungkwan are _very_ annoying. 

"Chan, you have a really bad habit of not listening to people," Seungkwan tells him.

"Seungkwan, you have a really bad habit of thinking you're funny when you're not," Chan says, not even looking up from his lunch. 

" _That_ is uncalled for," Chan doesn't have to look up to know Seungkwan is pouting. He looks up anyway when Hansol nudges him. "Listen, Chan. Hansol and I are your best friends, and we _hate_ to see you sad. We're serious—let me finish," he says quickly when Chan opens his mouth to interrupt. Chan tries not to pout, and Hansol laughs at him. "Remember when Hansol thought I was cheating on him when he caught me and this girl together? When you talk it out, _it works_. I didn't kiss her, _she_ kissed me. We almost broke up if we didn't communicate, and that's why it saves relationships."

Hansol scoffs, "What are you? A relationship counsellor?"

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, " _No_. I'm just more experienced than you two. Also, I still can't believe you thought I was _straight."_

"I didn't think you were straight! Bisexuals exist, so do pansexuals!"

"You're also literally a year older than us," Chan adds and Hansol nods. 

"Yeah, well? It's not my problem you two are idiots," Seungkwan smiles. 

"Says the one who asked, "why are chopsticks called chopsticks when they don't chop?" Hansol replies back and Seungkwan was about to grab his collar, but just then, Seokmin had dropped down next to him, his tray making an obnoxious sound against the table. 

"What's up, babies?" Seokmin asks and his eyes smile before his lips do. 

"Babies." Seungkwan repeats with a hint of annoyance in his tone, _"Seriously?"_

_"Whaaat?"_ Seokmin whines, drawing out the 'a' as he pouts. "You guys are my babies!" 

"I thought Chan was, though," Hansol replies with boredom, and Chan glares at him but Hansol ignores him, eyes glued to his phone. 

"Well, _yeah_. He _is_ my favourite out of you two," Seokmin says teasingly. "Don't worry, though. Shua-Hyung really likes Hansol and Seungcheol-Hyung really likes you, Seungkwan. So we're even!" 

Seungkwan grunts with no interest, Hansol doesn't say anything so Seokmin just rolls his eyes and looks at Chan with a smile. "What's up with you, Channie?" 

Chan shrugs. "Soonyoung-Hyung showed up at the studio last night." 

Seokmin tenses and his expression changes from soft to upset in a matter of seconds. "What? Why?"

"I don't know, I... didn't really let him talk," Chan says, looking away. 

"Don't worry, Channie. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as yours," Seokmin says and Chan doesn't know if he's trying to make him laugh or comfort him. 

"Um, _not_ helping," Seungkwan cuts in. "Seokmin-Hyung, you're just making this worse. Soonyoung-Hyung should explain himself, because I know if he never gets the chance to, Channie is going to regret it."

"What makes you say that?" Chan asks, genuinely curious. 

"It's simple, baby. I've known you the longest out of our friend group, Chan. You haven't _really_ moved on from Hyung. You're letting your hurt mask away from your real emotions. And _I know_ , Channie. He _did_ hurt you, and you don't deserve that shit. That's why I'm saying, you should talk to him. I'm not forcing you, it's just a suggestion," Seungkwan explains and Chan feels like crying.

"You're so sexy when you get serious," Hansol says bluntly and Seokmin giggles, shoving his shoulder. 

Seungkwan scoffs, "Bitch, I'm being caring. You know, a good friend." At the end of his sentence, he mutters under his breath, "Unlike _someone_."

Maybe Seungkwan isn't annoying. Hansol, on the other hand, is _definitely_ annoying. 

* * *

When Chan felt overwhelmed with all his negative thoughts that clouded his head, he needed to dance. Dancing was something that would always be with Chan. Yeah, he lost interest in it for a few weeks after what Soonyoung had done, but Chan never felt that sad before. He felt _useless._ There was something to it that just felt _right._ When he danced, all Chan focused on was himself, and it felt like he was the only person on Earth. 

Chan arrived at his dance studio, it was late at night once again because he loved watching the moonlight and stars through the big glass window. It gave him some sort of inspiration. As he began stretching, he scrolled through his phone to pick what music he wanted to play today. He came across a playlist labelled; **bf goals!!** and Chan clicked on it before realizing these were all the songs he had covered with Soonyoung. 

He connected his phone to the speakers, before tapping on _EX_ by _Kiana Ledé._ How ironic they did a cover on this song and Soonyoung actually did become his ex, but he still gets in his position and follows the beats, melody and lyrics. 

Chan imagines Soonyoung is there, with him, even though he doesn't really want to think about it. He can't help it, and he realizes how much he misses Soonyoung. It doesn't matter how wounded he feels, Seungkwan is right, he can't hide his real emotions either. He wants Soonyoung to be there with him, dancing with him, touching him with gentle and care, just like how they used to dance together. 

When the music stops, Chan breathes out harshly through his mouth. He opens up the water bottle, taking a big gulp of it and while he turns around, Chan chokes on it, spitting all the liquid out. He coughs violently, and Soonyoung—that sneaky asshole made his way into the studio while Chan was still dancing, his backpack thrown off to the side while he was propped against the wall, legs to his chest while he watched with so much adoration in his eyes. The older boy helped Chan, rubbing his back and when Chan finally got a hold of himself, he shoved Soonyoung's shoulder. "W-what are you doing here?" 

"I didn't mean to scare you! I thought the studio was going to be empty," Soonyoung says, his hands up in surrender and Chan rolls his eyes. 

"You don't even dance here, Hyung," Chan tells him and Soonyoung goes red. 

"Well, I mean—" Soonyoung pauses and then frowns. "Okay, yeah I came here to see if you were here. I just... wasn't expecting you to do the dance to our song." 

This time, Chan feels the tips of his ears burning, as he looks away shyly. "I—it didn't really mean anything. I was just running out of options for songs to choose." 

"The way you were moving... Chan, you were amazing, just like always," Soonyoung praises him. 

"...Thanks," Chan replies and he hates how small his voice sounded, even to his own ears. 

Silence had enveloped them, and it was uncomfortable, judging by Soonyoung's body language, he also felt restless. Shifting from foot to foot, Chan decided to finally break the heavy tension between them. "What are you doing here?"

Soonyoung looked a little surprised after Chan asked as if he wasn't expecting it. "Oh, um well. I just..." Soonyoung paused and he looked hesitant, before continuing with a big sigh. "Look, Chan. I really need to talk to you, okay? I know I fucked everything up between us, and you don't have to forgive me, I just know that if I don't explain to you what happened _now_... I can live with the hurt if I told you and you didn't forgive me, but I just can't fucking live with the guilt of not being able to tell you. So, _please_ , can you hear me out?" 

_You're letting your hurt mask away from your real emotions,_ Seungkwan's voice echoed in his head and he shook his head. At the same time, he _knew_ Seungkwan was right, and Soonyoung sounded so desperate, he deserves to explain himself, everyone does. 

"Okay."

Soonyoung let his shoulders relax as if it was physically burdening. "Let's sit down?" 

Chan took a seat beside Soonyoung who was in his previous position, knees to his chest, arms wrapped around them while he leaned his head against the wall. The younger boy waited for him to speak. Another sigh escaped Soonyoung's lips. "Where do I begin?" He let out a laugh, but Chan knew it wasn't a genuine laugh, considering the fact it was forced and breathy. "Okay, well. First, let's talk about my parents. You know how homophobic they are, right?"

Chan nods, almost rolling his eyes at the thought of them. "When my mom kicked me out for coming out to her, I became a bit of a mess. Fuck—what am I saying? I became a huge mess. I guess I didn't realize how much it had affected me when they kicked me out. Then... I met you." Soonyoung smiled, and Chan watched him. It was loving, Chan felt like melting, but he looked away nonetheless. "You made me so happy Chan. I'm not even kidding. Especially when we danced together, you helped through _everything._ There is no one who's as precious as you, Chan, and it still remains that way for me."

Chan swallowed the large lump that was making its way up to his throat, and he felt tears at the side of his eyes. "Then—why did you do that?" 

Soonyoung sucks in a sharp breath when he turns to look at how _sad_ Chan looks, and he tentatively asks; "C-can I touch you?" Chan didn't want him to, but he still nodded because he needed some sort of warmth. So Soonyoung wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer. "Chan, someone caught us kissing and they recorded us. It—he used to be my friend. Then, he held it against me. He told me that if... you know, I had sex with him and do other things, he wouldn't tell my parents about it. God knows what would happen if my parents, especially my father would found out. So at that time, I had to agree."

Chan let his tears fall as he looked at Soonyoung with shock. "W-wait! Are you serious? Soonyoung, he needs to go to jail, he—he harassed you!" 

"Shh, Chan, it's okay, I'm safe now don't cry," Soonyoung runs his fingers through Chan's locks of soft hair, as he sobs quietly into the elder's chest. "Hey, look at me." Soonyoung cups his face and makes him look into his eyes. "I'm okay. After a month of doing all those things with him, I couldn't take it anymore and didn't care if he showed the video to my dad. I ran away from home because I just couldn't handle it—you saw me with him, or when my parents kept calling me, I'm sorry Chan. I just got really scared and felt so lonely."

"It-it's not your fault, Hyung. I'm sorry for not letting you t-talk or—" Chan lets out another sob and Soonyoung's heart breaks. He wipes his tears away and moves in to kiss his forehead gently. "Soonyoung-Hyung, I am so, so sorry."

"Chan, don't be sorry. You had every right to angry with me... I just left without talking to anyone." Soonyoung lets Chan hug him, the younger practically in his lap as he nestles his face into the crook of his neck. Soonyoung has his arms wrapped around Chan, enjoying the warmth and love the dancer was providing him. "Baby?" Soonyoung whispers into the silence, and Chan pulls back to look at him. "I love you."

Chan just cries harder but a smile still takes over his features, it was so pretty and he missed seeing him smile Soonyoung may have accidentally tackled him harshly to the floor as he hugs him tightly, peppering kisses all over his face. Chan squeals, laughing right after and the sound was music to his ears. "Hyung, I love you too. I'm sorry, again."

"Shut up," Soonyoung mutters into his ear and Chan pouts. 

"As much as I enjoy being under you," Chan says and there's a beat of silence until Chan gasps. Soonyoung looks up and sees how red the younger is. "I mean... fuck, that came out wrong! I meant, you know, I was trying to be sarcastic, 'cause this position is very uncomfortable for me and you're literally crushing—"

Soonyoung cuts him off with a laugh, and Chan huffs out in disbelief. "Calm down, baby. I didn't even think of that. Maybe you're the only one thinking of dirty things?" Soonyoung smirks teasingly at him and Chan flushes again, looking away. 

"Hyung, we're not children!" The younger boy crosses his arms and Soonyoung smiles fondly, before moving closer to Chan. 

"Chan?" Soonyoung asks, and the other turns his red face towards Soonyoung. "Can I kiss you?" 

Chan raises his eyebrows, surprised. Soonyoung didn't know if he was pushing this, supposing they _just_ made up after months of ignoring each other. What Soonyoung doesn't expect is for Chan to lean closer, until their lips are pressed against each other. Soonyoung wasn't ready for Chan to eagerly climb into his lap, their bodies impossibly close, and the kiss wasn't exactly desperate as if they were lusting for each other. It was as if Chan was going to lose Soonyoung again, which is what made him needy. The thought made Soonyoung's hand land at his waist while the other went up to cup his cheek. It was slow and full of passion, with a little bit of desperation and Soonyoung thinks this is _the best_ kiss he's ever received. 

Soonyoung pulls away first, only for Chan to lean in again, clutching Soonyoung's black hoodie. The older dancer laughed into the kiss and gripped Chan's waist. "Chan, take it easy. 'M never gonna leave you, understand?" Chan just kisses his cheek and drops his head on Soonyoung's shoulder. 

"I know. I just—I feel so bad for not letting you talk and this whole thing became a mess because of me." Chan whispers.

Soonyoung wordlessly lifts his head to get the younger boy to look at him. "Chan, you need to stop beating yourself up for something you had no control of. That was in the past, this is the present and in the future, we'll grow into better people. I'm never letting this happen again, okay baby?" 

"Hyung... you're so sweet I don't know what else to say," Chan says and Soonyoung smiles. 

"Do you wanna dance? Just like good times?" Soonyoung asks and Chan perks up, his eyes lighting up at the idea and the older boy coos at how cute he is. "Is that a no?" Soonyoung teases.

Chan gasps, as if he was offended and quickly pulls Soonyoung to the center of the dance studio. "Are you crazy? That's the best thing you've said today!" Chan pauses and then blushes, "You know after you explained yourself."

Soonyoung chuckles and comes up from behind him to rest his chin on Chan's shoulder while he wraps his arms around him while Chan picks a song. "You're so cute, baby," Soonyoung murmurs in Chan's ear and the younger boy shivers from his voice, ears still red. 

"Remember when we used to dance to this song when we fought?" Chan asks, completely ignoring Soonyoung's actions. Soonyoung glances down at Chan's screen to see [Patience by Guns N' Roses](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc) ready to be played and memories instantly flood his head as he fondly smiles. 

Chan places his phone on the table after pressing play, running back to Soonyoung who instantly places his hands on Chan's hips, the other boy wrapping his arms around him. As they hear the lyrics start to flow through the speakers, moving their bodies to the guitar playing in the background, focusing on each other only. Chan sighs, closing his eyes as he tips his head forward so he can hear Soonyoung's heartbeat. Soonyoung rests his head on Chan's head, kissing it and smelling a fresh and natural scent from him, and it was so nice Soonyoung pulled him closer. 

Soonyoung feels himself instantly relaxing with the younger's presence, there were no worries that he was thinking about, which always happens when he's with Chan. That's why he loved the younger boy so much. There was something about Chan that just made him feel comfortable and safe, and that when everyone leaves Soonyoung, he knows Chan will always be there for him, waiting patiently. 

And for Chan? Soonyoung had made his life so much better. He doesn't have many friends, his parents don't understand him, he feels as if he wasn't actually cared for. But when it's Soonyoung? The older boy meant so much to Chan, no wonder he had felt so lonely after he left. Soonyoung cares for him, protects him and most importantly, loves him. And he knows Soonyoung will never let this happen between them again. Just thinking about it makes Chan's heart clench with sadness. 

"Baby," Soonyoung whispers in his ear, and Chan lifts his head and didn't realize the song was finished playing. Soonyoung gives him a charming smile, eyes crinkling and Chan thinks it's impossible to fall further in love than you already are, but Soonyoung makes that possible. 

"I almost fell asleep," Chan says truthfully, laughing with Soonyoung. "I felt so comfortable with you."

"Yeah, same goes for me," Soonyoung tells him. "I missed you so much, Chan." 

Chan hums, "Yeah. Me too. A lot, actually."

"Yeah?" Soonyoung asks. It sounded a bit teasing. "Wanna show me how much?" 

Chan snorts, "Horny fuck."

"Shut up," Soonyoung rolls his eyes, and then, without warning, he backs Chan against the mirror and tilts his head upward so he could give him a breathtaking kiss. Chan clutches his biceps, gasps when Soonyoung brushes his knee against the bulge in his sweatpants, which is a little embarrassing since he was _already_ half-hard. Chan doesn't have to open his eyes to know that Soonyoung is smirking, that cocky bastard. But Chan doesn't have much time to think when Soonyoung slips his tongue into his wet mouth, and Chan whines with purpose. Soonyoung has his eyes on the younger one while he watches as he slowly takes Chan apart just from having him against the mirror—like this, kissing the daylights out of him. 

"Mm, you were always such a good boy for me," Soonyoung says right next to his ear, in that awfully sexy voice of his. Chan felt a bit dizzy. "So responsive."

" _Hyung,_ " Chan says without really thinking. Soonyoung quirks an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "First, you are _not_ going to fuck me here. And if you're going to fuck me, take me home first, please for fucks sake."

Soonyoung smirks lazily. "You're place or mine?"

"Yours. Unless you want Seungkwan to hear us throughout the whole night."

"Us? Oh please, you can't ever shut your mouth when I'm fucking you." Soonyoung says, leaning closer to see the beautiful blush that runs up his neck. 

"If we don't leave this place in the next ten seconds, you won't be fucking anyone tonight," Chan whispers. The younger makes eye contact with the older, biting his bottom lip teasingly just to rile him up. Judging the way his eyes stare intensely at his lips, and the low groan he lets out, definitely, had him affected. He grabs onto Chan, rushing him out the door as if he was a man starved, pausing literally every five seconds to kiss Chan.

That night, Chan had to have his head shoved against the mattress, not being able to keep noises in and the neighbours for sure had heard him. Soonyoung doesn't care though; they'd be blessed to hear such pretty sounds anyway. 

**Author's Note:**

> yay! the ending got a bit... *ahem* heated. soonchan are both horny idiots but are also very much in love with each other! I really hope you enjoyed reading, I had a lot of fun writing this. tell me what you think! <3
> 
> \- comments & kudos are appreciated! thank you for reading!   
> ^ - ^


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